WHY DO I DO WHAT I DO?

It is vital and transformational to ask ourselves this question periodically partly to keep our focus and meaning in what we do. In other words it enables you to have a purpose in mind concerning your life, be it in business or in your personal life.  Why do you do what you do? Until you are able to clarify and justify your reason and you are satisfied about why you do what you do then frustration might persist in life. When you don't have a purpose in mind you tend to lose focus and drift everywhere.

Every one's "Why" is different and until you are able to identify yours, copying what other people do would be a aimless venture and lead only to one route again, frustration and envy.

For example, I came from a culture where it use to be that reasons for going into a particular career or business, was with one motive in mind that it is a lucrative business or career with lots of money in salary or profit, therefore the question of being passionate about a career or business to make a difference was out of the question but the consequence of such life resulted in a lost of integrity and credibility of purpose which eventually creates a vacuum or emptiness in people.  Thank God for competitive advantage and also the need for performance measures which have identified the ones who have chosen the path of purpose and fulfilment in their endeavor.  This has created a leveled playing ground where people are more conscious of authenticity in business and life, and would choose what is right for them.

Where the motive behind a business or career is focus on what you as person can get out of it then the passion to serve others has been lost. you find those kind businesses does not go very far.   How often do we hear in business that if your focus is solely about making money, you loose the touch and relationship building in business.  The business experts do say business should be about building relationship and credibility and only then would money followers.  Again how many times have we heard the saying "people buy people".  Therefore, if the motive is all about making money and not about serving the needs of others then we have missed the essence of purpose in life.

Hence, if your purpose does not stretch you as a person then you have missed the essence of purpose and meaning in life.  Purpose is the reason for your being which goes beyond your own needs but incorporate the needs of others to fulfil your own needs.  Therefore, I encourage you to have a reflective view at why you do what you do?  It will enable you to map your purpose on earth.

How would you define an ideal life?

The social environment sets some expectation about the ideal life, such as get an education, a good job, marry, have children and buy your own home.  Give yourself a round of applause if you have fitted in the box and have achieved all that others expect of you.  Unfortunately, research shows that many that fitted in the box of an ideal life, found they still felt a void they could not fill nor explain which might eventually lead to an experience panic and anxiety of some form.  On the other hand, those that were unable to achieve all that the society expected of them were made to feel like an under achiever which then breed regrets and self-unworthiness.

This seems to be the kind of race many go through in the first half of their lives, with pressure to keep up or give up.  Then comes the second half of our lives, which is termed Mid-life and we begin to ask ourselves questions about does aspect of our lives that didn't work exactly as was expected, if we dwell on it too long we would begin to judge ourselves on what we could have done differently.  There is actually nothing wrong with going through those processes but it's what we do with the process  that matters.  Some of these questions becomes so transparent that it can sometimes become overwhelming and because we develop real emotions during these times, a feeling of urgency is created in your spirit that results to what is termed Mid-life crisis.

We all respond to this moment differently, for some an overwhelming regrets about the mistakes they have made in life and even when they have lots of things to celebrate and be grateful for, they emphasise on the not so good aspect of their lives and this dissolution may cause them to put all their aspirations in a corner gathering dust with excuses such as I would have love to do something else but it is probably too late to start something new or I must remain in this job I hate so much because it pays the bills, so they become stuck in the rut by not doing anything about it.  Unfortunately, the situation we don't do anything about would remain the same.

If that sound like you, then I will encourage you to come out of your shelves and avoid all self-sabotaging thought about moving forward and start cultivate an attitude of a new age mid-lifer who would embraces what is true for them during their reflection and also see this moment as the greatest opening in their life to re-invent and re-brand themselves "The Age of Miracle" is a book authored by Mariannes Williamson and it states that many lives have been transformed during their mid-life years, some have turned what seems to be termed mid-life crisis into great successes in career and businesses, created a fulfilled lifestyle for themselves and made a difference in the lives of others.

Having gone through this new era of mid-life myself  and still navigating the course of my life towards my dreams, I have become an advocate of applied positive psychology, which states according to a research done by (William & Davies, 2002) that negative situations or what we no longer want in our lives can be shifted away when you take your attention from pathology and pain and direct it towards a clearer concentration of strength, vision and dreams.